EU couldn't make it up

My phone rings. It is someone-or-other from the European Union.
Am I interested in a story about how much the EU will be spending in our region up to 2020 and would I like to talk to people about how they are going to spend it?
Of course - there could be some opportunities for local businesses in this. So a chance to look at how the money would be spent locally would be great.
It's never that simple with the EU, though.
To find out about how money will be spent in the East Midlands, they want me to go to a three-day event.
In Brussels.
"But if you're spending money locally, wouldn't it be better to talk to someone here, on the ground, to see where it will be spent?"
Bafflement. Silence follows.
"So it is best I say you are not interested in the story?"
No, I'm definitely interested, I said. But I explained that I couldn't spare three days for one story, never mind one in Brussels.
This did not compute. How could someone not want to go to Brussels...to speak to Commissioners...at an event?
I did think about throwing something in about the irony of a story about a local initiative being done abroad, but it would have been lost in translation between one version of English and another.
In any case, we were clearly inhabiting different universes already.
"OK...so you can't do the story."
"Yes, I can do the story but can we not talk to someone here or over the phone?"
"Erm...it's for this event...OK we leave it there."
C'est la vie.